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Guy Eats Whole Thing Of Cream CheeseMount Sterling, KY - Former Mcnabb Middle School student Donnie Eagles reports that he ate a whole thing of cream cheese on Saturday night. The 19 year-old freelance construction worker had apparently exhausted all other food options. "I thought Little Caesar's was open until midnight," recalls Eagles, "but I guess they close at 11 like Bruce's [Grocery and Bait]. Everything was closed." Click for full story.

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Devil Not Renewing Mick Jagger's ContractHELL - After weeks at the negotiating table, The Devil and Mick Jagger appear to be at a stalemate. The current contract between the two is due to expire at the end of the month. This is the fourth such decennial renegotiation since the Rolling Stones' frontman first signed on with Satan in 1963 at the age of 18. Click for full story.

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This Date In History

It was on this date in 1781 that Franco-American forces attacked the British stronghold of Yorktown, turning the tide in the American Revolution. This unconventional battle was masterminded by French General Comte de Rochambeau. The first strike was made by George Washington's troops, illustrating their unhappiness with Britain's Stamp Act by dumping thousands of tons of paper on the British army.

Though shaken by this profusion of parchment, British General Charles Cornwallis rallied his troops to bind their bayonets in pairs. These giant makeshift "scissors" were used to cut through the paper and free the Redcoats. Immediately, Rochambeau's men charged and began throwing rocks at the British, smashing their scissors. In an ironic twist, the Brits used the paper to cover the rocks, but Washington's troops encroached with scissors to again cut through the paper, defeating the British forces for the third and final time.

Cornwallis protested briefly that he should be allowed a chance to win 5 out of 7, but Washington and Rochambeau held firm that it was normally best 2 out of 3, and they were just being nice letting it go to 3 out of 5. This would be the final major battle of the Revolutionary War.