For years, expensive voice-recognition systems have been available only to the wealthy and the handicapped. But now there's Rosie. She's a smart little robot that can understand every word you say and perform commands on your computer without you having to lift a finger. And at just $69.95, she's within anyone's budget. With Rosie, your hands will be free to do what they do best- stroke your cock.

How many times have you been downloading porn and trying to paddle the pickle at the same time? The trouble is, the same hand that works the mouse is the one you need to rub the magic lamp. Sure, you can try to use your other hand, but it's just not the same. And who wants to be futzing with a computer while you're milking the mongoose?

With Rosie, all you need to say is, "Rosie, open teen ass dot jpeg", or "Rosie, play dildo four dot mpeg". Your dominant hand is then free to spank the anteater, while your secondary hand is available for other tasks like drinking beer, or opening the Vaseline. This "wet hand/dry hand" method was recently highlighted in Rookies magazine, and is the preferred choice of penguin petters everywhere.

We're so sure you'll love Rosie, that we're offering a full money-back guarantee. So why wait? Order today, and spend less time clicking your mouse, and more time flogging your one-eyed ferret!