New International Language Approved


Electronic Internet News

by Greg Adams, EIN staff writer

ic2.jpg In a study recently published by the International Institute for the American Language, researchers unveiled a bold new discovery in the field of linguistics. The study showed that simply by raising the volume of one's voice, speaking very slowly and deliberately , and making crude hand signals, two people of vastly different cultures can communicate effectively in English.

After years of struggling through confusing languages such as Mexican, and Brazillian, the linguists realized it was all very simple. Researcher Dan Ricky stumbled across this finding while working with his new maid Rosa Ana. Ricky points out, "I had always thought she just didn't understand American, but when my father-in-law chimed in with what we are calling the "show and shout" method, she caught on immediately." Ricky reports that the laundry was folded, the floor was vacuumed and the dishes were done all without having to struggle with one word of Mexican.

"It's amazing," claims Ricky. "With this new method, everyone can speak American." Although, this method has been in use "unofficially" for years by American tourists traveling abroad and with migrant farm workers in south Texas, it has only recently been sanctioned by the institute. "We feel this brings us one step closer to our goal of letting everyone speak American," says Ricky.

The findings were presented at the annual conference for Funny Talkers where the "show and shout" method was revealed on a series of large screens and a sound system purchased from The Who's 1967 world tour. "Thanks to The Who, I think they got the message," jokes Ricky.

The presentation lasted 15 minutes and was repeated several times at slower speeds each time.

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