February Archives

Electronic Internet News. The news you need, before you need it.

Headlines *Click for full stories*

War On Terrorism
Terrorists Motivated By BoredomWashington, D.C. - After months of sifting through the mounds of misinformation regarding the September 11th attacks, the White House reports to have discovered what they consider to be the chief motivating factor of Osama bin Laden and the Al Qaeda network: boredom. Click for full story.

Cursing News
Trends on Shit SofteningU.S.A. - Reports from A. C. Neilsen show trends on the word Shit are softening. For 10 years now, Shit has been slowly cycling down. The highly anticipated 4th quarter data on the word was released earlier today. The Nielsen data shows the cursing public is turning to other options in greater numbers than previously thought. Click for full story.

Copyright 2001 Electronic Internet News

Short Stories

Tyson's License Approved By WWF
The World Wrestling Federation has granted boxer Mike Tyson a license to fight in its league. This came as a victory for Tyson, who has been denied a license by the Nevada Boxing Commission. "The WWF was very impressed by Tyson's behavior at the press conference with Lenox Lewis last month," said Vince McMahon, president of the WWF. "That is just the type of fiery spirit we look for."

Tyson should have no problem learning the rules of the WWF, as there apparently aren't any. The concept of having fight outcomes predetermined should also be nothing new for Tyson.

See Iron Mike Tyson take on Stone Cold Steve Austin, March 1 at the Jimmy Dean Convention Center in Knoxville, TN.

Enron Spring Picnic Doubtful
Though management is still keeping a positive outlook, the annual Enron Spring Picnic looks doubtful. Employees are still encouraged to purchase advance tickets for this event, as space is limited. Raffle tickets are also for sale. Don't miss your chance to win a DVD player! Send check to: Kenneth Lay, 2 Briar Ln., Houston, TX, 77002.